guinea pig: lava jumping

Episode recap: "The Performer" (Criminal Minds)

OK friends, I'm back with another episode recap. Wooo! (also for caseland)

5x07: "The Performer"
or "The Idiot Plot"

So here it is... the infamous "vampire episode." "The Performer" aired in early November of 2009, shortly before the opening of New Moon, the second movie of the Twilight franchise. Vampire mania was in full force, as other crime shows--namely, Castle and CSI--released vampire episodes with a few weeks of each other. I suppose it was inevitable that CM would try to cash in on the vampire craze. And while it does disappoint me slightly that CM would resort to such blatant trendwhoring, at least, knowing CM, the writing would be smart and clever, right?


"Somebody's Watching" already proved that CM and Hollywood are unmixy things, and "The Performer" does not break the curse. Still, I don't hate this episode the way I hate "Somebody's Watching." Because while "The Performer" is not a good episode by any stretch of the imagination, it's not a terrible episode, either. It's just dumb. It does engage the same stereotypical Hollywood tropes, but not nearly as offensively, unless you count mind-numbing stupidity offensive. We are talking about an episode involving a singer whose alter ego is a vampire.

Yeeaaahhhh, you read right.

Still, I remained optimistic that this episode might be a case of "better than it sounds." It wasn't. Not only was the plot every bit as ludicrous as it sounds, but it required a generally smart character to make a straight-up idiot move. But I'm getting ahead of myself again. Let's start at the beginning.

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guinea pig: lava jumping

Recap: Criminal Minds, "Somebody's Watching"

Done for a caseland episode review challenge

Recap: Criminal Minds, "Somebody's Watching" a.k.a. "Somebody's Watching, All Right... And is Suffering Great Pain"

"Somebody's Watching" is the shittest Criminal Minds episode ever made. In fact, it might be the shittest episode of anything ever made. The fact that an episode this shit exists for TV show I generally consider good only highlights its shittery. Collapse )